FRIDAY THE 13th MARATHON
6 p.m. Friday, May 13
Turner Classic Movies (Comcast Ch. 30)
Here’s a tip: If you’re a buxom young lassie who happens to become stranded with your boyfriend at an abandoned summer camp, don’t take it as an opportunity to play hide the kielbasa. You’ll lose yourself in the moment, and the next thing you know, some hockey-mask-wearing whack job will have run you through with a flagpole, truck bumper, sharp stick and/or electric turkey carving knife. This bit of helpful information for better living has been brought to you by Turner Classic Movies and its upcoming Friday the 13th marathon — an all-night gore-a-thon of six films featuring the Sultan of Splatter, Jason Voorhies. Put on your hockey mask and watch Jason get medieval on their pert and perky asses.
NATURE: HOLY COW!
4 p.m. Saturday, May 14
AETN (Comcast Ch. 3, Broadcast Ch. 2)
While most urban dwellers don’t have much face-time with the bovine these days, it’s kind of amazing how much benefit we get from the humble cow. Leather jacket? Belonged to a cow first. Ditto on milk, cheese, ice cream, hamburger, the seats in your boss’ Lexus, sirloin steak and a host of other goodies. The question, however, is: Where did the cow come from? Fundamentally unlike any animal currently found in the wild, the source of the domesticated cow is a genetic mystery — one that plugs directly into the development of agriculture, farming, and even culture. Here, Nature goes in search of the roots of ol’ Bossy’s family tree.
8 p.m. Tuesday, May 17
The Discovery Channel (Comcast Ch. 53)
If you had the chance to make $150,000 for five days of backbreaking, nasty, incredibly dangerous work, facing death at every moment, would you do it? This is the siren’s song faced by some Alaskans — the men who go for broke chasing the king crab. In terms of mortality and injury rates, it is literally the most dangerous job in America. During the crabbing season, which can be as short as 72 hours, crabbers routinely risk their lives walking on shifting decks, wrestling 800-pound steel crab traps, and facing rogue waves in the frigid Bering Sea — where a trip into the water, even in summer, can kill you in under four minutes. This reality series takes you into the lives of these last American cowboys.