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THE EXTERMINATORS

9:30 p.m. Wednesday, May 12

A&E

I don't know about you, but the guy who comes and sprays my house for termites once a year looks like he got the job because his grades weren't good enough to get into truck driver training school. On “reality” TV, however, things have got to get a little X-treme! Hence, the A&E show “The Exterminators.” That's right. It's a show about the glamorous lives of people who kill mice, snakes and bugs. Even in the vast TV wasteland, this might be the goofiest thing I've ever seen, starting with the show's “radical” frontman, Billy Bretherton. He's a 15-year veteran exterminator, and knows his stuff. But apparently every morning he goes to the closet and asks himself: “Hmmmm … should I go with the blue work shirt and pants, or this fetching black ensemble that looks like a cross between fetish wear and something from the wardrobe of Poison's 1988 World Tour?” All Bretherton's T-shirts are “bedazzled” with rhinestones and/or stainless steel spikes (we're not making this up). He has a soul patch. He often wears wrap-around Eurotrash shades, fingerless gloves, and a shellacked black cowboy hat with the brim so curled it looks like a gone-over taco. He sports an honest-to-god mullet, gelled into a pincushion in front, and wispy as the fringe on a Victorian footstool in the back. And remember, he looks like this WHILE he's crawling into attics and taking knowledgably about rodent feces. It's … well, you just gotta see it to believe it.  

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