- SOOOOKIE!: 'True Blood' is back for season three.
HBO, 8 p.m. Sundays
"True Blood" found its footing last season by doubling down on just about everything — camp, horror, sex, vampire metaphors. The terrible accents. Vampire Bill's grating antebellum earnestness. The general tedium of vampire civil rights issues. Turns out none of that mattered much with a lot more blood and skin in the mix. Last season's new characters — among them an orgy-inducing pagan sex goddess, a Ralph Reed cartoon hell-bent on bringing vampires "into the light" and a redheaded vampire nymphet — didn't hurt matters either. By the time season two reached the height of its narrative arc, "True Blood" looked everything like the greatest whacked-out soap this side of "Twin Peaks." Then came the Scooby Doo-style foiling of the wicked witch and the ho-hum disappearance of the vampire boyfriend. But, the promise is still there, friends, particularly if you've seen the trailer for season three. Because it features a tremendous amount of murder, mayhem and supernatural sex. And werewolves. And maybe, just maybe werepanthers. LM
BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED?
Bravo, 9 p.m. Thursdays
This is a strange country we live in. For whatever reason, middle class folks in Arkansas, Mississippi, Indiana and other places that don't even seem to be on the same continent as New York City tune in, week after week, to watch Bravo's "Real Housewives of..." series. The shows, if you haven't watched them, have nothing to do with either "Real" or "Housewives" — not in the sense in which we use those words on this planet anyway. Mostly they're about following a group of underfed and over-paid shrews from various high-profile places (Atlanta, New York, Orange County, California and New Jersey) as they scheme on how to transform the lives of the other Botox-junkies in their clique into a living hell. Just how much of all that bickering and bitching is done for dramatic effect is a good question, but the bigger question is: Why do we want to watch this crap? Maybe it's just the myth behind the American Dream: that one day, if the poor slobs in Flyoverville work hard and sweat and save, we too can be living in a gilded penthouse overlooking Central Park, feeding our miniature teacup Shitzapoodehuahua primo caviar for dinner twice a day. In the new spinoff "Bethenny Getting Married?" Bethenny Frankel — one of the more obnoxious stick figures from the NYC show — decides whether she can go through with getting hitched. DK