Columns » Bob Lancaster

Memorial Day exchange



I'm bored.

Me 2.

Boreder now than when I ... well, u no.

Yeah. Me 2.

A minute's passed. Still bored.


20 more secs. Still bored.


20 more secs.

I get the point.

Tick tick tick tick tick.

Remember that time...? Nah, never mind, it was boring.

Which time? That time when we...

No, the other time.

Yeah, that was boring.

They were both boring.

Yeah. All the boringness is boring. Somebody kill me now.

Amazing how nearly equally boring all the boringness is.

Tick tick tick tick tick. Wonder if Justin is bored.

Twit him & C.

He never answers.

Yeah, won't answer me either. Prolly 2 bored.

Do they get bored?


U no, them.

O, them. The them them. Yeah, they do.

Can't imagine Willow bored. All that hair to whip.

OL says nobody got bored her day. They didn't know how.

;o), a good one.

Says they knitted. Conversed. Told stories. Had gardens. Went when they had what they called destinations. Read out of what they called books.


Chased fireflies. ???

???2. Sounds boring. No mall or WM?

GM sang to me why she never got bored. 'Got a hotrod ford and a $2 bill & I know a spot right over the hill, got soda pop and dancing is free, so if u wanna have fun come along with me...'

& that means? ...

???, but GM is kinda cool.

For somebody that old. What she, 40?

Tick tick tick tick tick. Wanna see new Brandi pix?

She changed any since pix this a.m.?


Your dog.

O! Her tail gnawed redder. OM says means she bored.

I saw that on Dog Whisperer.

I want to time travel to future where everybody pair-a-lies with boredom and steal their stuff and bring it back.

What stuff.

Like, text where you just think it & it sends.

We have that. Ur phone.

Soldiers' chorus: Yo, dipwads, we died so u could live like this?

Uh-oh, easedroppers. Who u?

Soldiers' chorus: We who are about to die salute you, is the last we remember.



Is dead as boring as this?

It's not boring. It's not anything. Except a wispy regret sometimes that it had to be given up so u could be bored.

Can't u just restart the game?

No. Game Over.


Our way to say mal is TFB.


Yes, it is.

U r from the old time.

Yes. Too scared 2 B bored. And if we got out alive, ambition sufficed to keep us unbored. What happened to ambition?

I'm ambitious to be unbored.

I'm bored to be unambitious.

No, what happened to ambition on a larger scale? The American Dream was another name for it.

Make money till u don't need any more then go on making it so some other dude won't beat u out of it. Dude less deserving. U don't need it; he does. But U get it cose you can; you get it cose them that has gets.

That's what it's come to, then?

Hog it all or big fail is our motto. On our coins. Anything u can screw the less unfortunate out of.

So just another game. Like Monopoly.



A board game when we were extant.

Board game???

I think they mean bored.

What happened to idea of sacrifice? Of selflessness? Of service



Some one said courage is grace under pressure. What that mean 2 u?

The title of a song?

A boring song.

Here's a Memorial Day story. One time most of the peeps in a whole lot of countries decided that peace was boring. So they had the first whole-world war and for a while it wasn't boring. A lot of mal & gnarly but not boring. But then it got boring. And they quit when it looked like they might run out of people to kill in it. It was peace then till they got bored with peace again shortly, so they had WWII.

That might not be real boring if you had a good teacher.

Yeah, it would. It's all boring.

U r right. It's all boring. War is boring. Peace is boring. Dead is boring and so is alive.

Tick tick tick tick tick.

Bored on top of bored.

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