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Inconsequential News Quiz: Coffin and wheezin' edition

lay at home, while planning your fundraising dog wash!

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Play at home, while planning your fundraising dog wash!

1) UA Little Rock recently posted a page on its website detailing how those who have met the additional permitting requirements to carry a concealed handgun on campus — including eight additional hours of safety training — may do so. Which of the following ISN'T among the information disseminated?

A) Permit holders may carry their concealed handguns in university-owned dorms, fraternity and sorority houses, but cannot store their handguns there.

B) Permit holders can bring their handguns to meetings with professors, but can't bring them to grievance and disciplinary hearings.

C) Students, professors and other faculty — up to and including the chancellor of the university — may ask a student carrying a handgun if he or she has the required concealed carry permit, but the person carrying the handgun is not required to answer.

D) Permit holders may take out their shooting irons and blast a hole through any section of their textbook they don't like, including evolution, discussion of lady parts, and any section of an American history book that reveals the Second Amendment was written to help arm and equip state-controlled militias and doesn't guarantee or establish an individual right to own or carry a firearm.

2) A driver recently led police on a high-speed chase near Little Rock. What was weird about the chase?

A) It was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, which was stolen from an event outside a nearby Kroger.

B) The driver was piloting a Hummer with a coffin strapped to the roof.

C) Police broke off the chase when they passed a Sonic drive-through and remembered it was 50-cent corndog day.

D) The driver was 9 years old.

3) The Hot Springs Documentary Film Festival, scheduled to run Oct. 6-15 this year, recently announced an addition to the festival that is sure to be a hit with film buffs. What was the announcement?

A) The recent purchase of two candy-sniffing dogs to help fight the scourge of unauthorized goodie-smuggling into film screenings.

B) That the new documentary "Being Jason Rapert" has been booted from the festival after a preview screening produced widespread chills, nausea and vomiting.

C) That Werner Herzog, the filmmaker behind documentary greats such as "Grizzly Man," "Cave of Forgotten Dreams," and "Encounters at the End of the World," will be in attendance.

D) That anyone caught using a cell phone during a film screening will be made into soup and fed to stray cats.

4) Governor Hutchinson made an announcement late last week that took many by surprise. What was the announcement?

A) Bentonville has seceded from Arkansas, and will henceforth be called Walmartistan.

B) He intends to commute the sentence of death row inmate Jason McGehee, whose execution was scheduled for November.

C) He's resigning to start a career as an actor, saying he believes he's got a real future in playing "crooked bank president," "clueless vice-principal" and "rich jerk furious that a barista screwed up his coffee order" roles.

D) That whoever it is in Leslie Rutledge's office that keeps "dropping stink biscuits" in the executive restroom needs to cut it out immediately.

5) The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette's Thursday, Aug. 24, list of the top 10 things to do the weekend of Aug. 25-27 omitted any mention of the debut event of the Arkansas Cinema Society, a mini-film festival produced by Arkansas filmmaker Jeff Nichols that included appearances by several film luminaries, including Adam Driver, the A-lister who stars as villain Kylo Ren in the most recent installment of the "Star Wars" franchise. Which of the following events were apparently important enough that they bumped Driver and the Cinema Society's slate of events from the D-G's to-do list?

A) A Volkswagen-only car show and swap meet in Eureka Springs.

B) A fundraising dog wash in North Little Rock.

C) Another car show in Mena.

D) All of the above.

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