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Inconsequential News Quiz: 'Thou Shalt Not Grab Balls in Anger' edition

Play at home, while realizing that there's a TON of weird stuff in the Bible.

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1) Quora, a website that poses questions to interesting and famous people, recently posted part of a Q&A with Little Rock Nine member Melba Pattillo Beals. Which of the following were among the answers Beals gave about her experience helping integrate Central High School in 1957? A) Not a single person who was cruel to her in 1957 has ever stepped forward to apologize. B) Her day-to-day existence at Central was like walking through hell, with nine teenagers "in a fight against 1900." C) She believes the forces at work in 1957 still control Little Rock, saying: "It appears in the desire to create charter schools; it appears in all of the reversals of fair housing, fair jobs, protection for our water and air, etc. It isn't just about Central High alone ... . It set a tone and established that separate can never be equal and yet still Little Rock insists on separate and unequal." D) All of the above. 2) CARTI, the Little Rock-based cancer treatment center, recently reached an agreement with the city over having clear-cut 39 trees on the road leading to its complex without city approval. What's the agreement? A) Those humanoid trees from the "Lord of the Rings" flicks get to crash there any time they're too high to drive. B) The executive who OK'd the tree cutting has to wear underpants made of woven tree bark. C) Three raccoons, two marmots and a family of squirrels displaced by the tree cutting will be given free condos in the nearby Woodland Heights Retirement Center. C) It will replant 45 trees and contribute $63,000 to the Little Rock Tree Fund. 3) State Rep. Mickey Gates (R-Hot Springs) was recently arrested. Why, according to police, has he been charged with six felonies? A) Lookin' so damn fly. B) His naturally punchable face incites otherwise law-abiding people to violence. C) After his wife grabbed a dude's testicles in anger, he refused to allow her hand to be cut off, as required by Deuteronomy 25:11-12 D) Investigators say that Gates failed to file state income tax returns from 2012 to 2017. 4) Bekaert, a major manufacturer with a plant in Rogers, recently announced it is canceling a planned expansion that would have increased production by 50 percent and added 100 jobs. According to a company spokesperson, why was the proposed expansion halted? A) There's been a severe decline in the number of gullible idiots buying "Make America Great Again" hats. B) NASA canceled its contract for a six-wheeled rover designed to search for evidence of intelligent life at President Trump's rallies.   C) Undocumented immigrant children sent over by I.C.E. to work the assembly lines staged a sit-down strike demanding access to regular diaper changes and their mothers. D) The particular grade of steel wire they use to make tire-reinforcing cords isn't made in the U.S., and importing it has become cost prohibitive because of Trump's tariffs on steel and aluminum. 5) Police say a Fayetteville man who was allegedly caught breaking into an apartment there fought with officers and then led the cops and a K-9 dog on a brief chase before being apprehended. What, according to officers on the scene, were things the man told them during and after the altercation? A) That he was God. B) That he owned their souls. C) That he'd "eaten some marijuana and done six lines of cocaine." D) All of the above

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