1) Recently, a video appeared online that featured employees of a Waffle House restaurant in Forrest City doing something in full view of the dining room that went a little beyond slinging hash browns and brewing up coffee. What were they doing?
A) Bathing a baby in the dish sink.
B) Scattering, smothering, covering and topping a trucker, if you know what I mean.
C) Washing a woman's hair, including dunking her dreadlocks in a kitchen pot filled with steaming hot water only a few feet from the grill.
D) Playing "Waffle Frisbee Golf."
2) Recently on Facebook, Aaron Reddin, founder of the Little Rock homeless outreach program The Van (facebook.com/ItsTheVan), posted a photo of a questionable donation he said came into the nonprofit charity's warehouse. What was it?
A) 12,315 remaindered copies of Mike Huckabee's book "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy."
B) A cardboard box containing the ashes of a Paragould resident's deceased mother.
C) A complicated penis stretcher/enlarger.
D) More than 4,300 ultra-rare, mint condition Beanie Babies, worth approximately $6.
3) The University of Arkansas recently changed the name of a computerized student information service to UAConnect, possibly because of the previous name's unsavory and unintended connection. What was the previous name of the service?
A) The Kampus Konnection Korner
4) Recently, a teenager from Greenbrier said he was rejected while trying to enlist in the U.S. Marines because of a personal attribute. What was it?
A) "Outie" bellybutton that looks like a hot dog.
B) Balls less than 80 percent brass.
C) Rebel flag tattoo on his shoulder.
D) Fluffy, vestigial tail.
5) It was recently reported out of Washington County that something that is the last of its kind in the state will be no more by mid-2018. What is it?
A) Walk-up "mountain oysters" bar.
Answers: C, C, C, C, C
B) The last example of the classic Ozark Hillbilly Murdershack.
C) Seven-and-a-half miles of Highway 220, which is Arkansas's last stretch of unpaved state highway.
D) Rational Republican voter.