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Inconsequential News Quiz: Give Thanks It Isn't Worse Edition

Play while basking in the afterglow of hot limo sex!

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1) Arkansas-based companies Walmart and J.B. Hunt are among the first to reserve a purchase option on a groundbreaking new technology they hope will revolutionize their trucking fleets. What is it?

A) "Speedball" system that injects liquid caffeine directly into truckers' necks as they drive.

B) Robot basset hounds to accompany truckers as they rush Coors from Texarkana to Atlanta.

C) Cloaking device to foil determined Bears, Smokies and Jackie Gleasons in hot pursuit.

D) Tesla Motors' all-electric "semi" big rig trucks, which — while fully loaded — can go 500 miles at highway speeds on a single charge while operating at a fraction of the fuel cost of diesel-powered trucks.

2) A 40-year-old woman was recently arrested on a burglary warrant after police investigated a report of a suspicious vehicle parked near an abandoned house on Battery Street in Little Rock. What kind of vehicle was it?

A) Popemobile.

B) Weinermobile.

C) Stretch limousine, inside which, police say, the woman and a partner were having sex.

D) Donald Trump's campaign bus.

3) A spokesman for the Pulaski County Sheriff's Office reported a surprising crime. What was it?

A) Pulaski County Sheriff Doc Holladay's limo smelled super weird inside after a friend borrowed it for the weekend.

B) Somebody stole a TV from the waiting room at the Pulaski County Jail.

C) A crafty bandit keeps breaking into patrol cars and "bedazzling" deputies' cowboy hats with glitter and rhinestones.

D) Using a 114-foot tunnel under the wire, jail inmates have been smuggling in bootsocks, infinity scarves and pumpkin-spiced lattes.

4) A 22-year-old man from the Lonoke County town of Ward was recently extradited to Virginia to face charges. According to investigators, what did he allegedly do in Virginia?

A) Smelt it, but refused to acknowledge having dealt it.

B) Denied that Virginia is for lovers.

C) Besmirched the stainless flower of Southern womanhood.

D) Participated in a mob attack on a black man during a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville.

5) The Van, the Little Rock-based homeless outreach charity run by Aaron Reddin, recently announced it's facing a critical shortage of blankets for our homeless neighbors. With the need for blankets becoming more critical as the nights grow colder, how can you help?

A) Gather up a bunch of clean blankets, then reach out to Reddin via email at aaron@theoneinc.org so he can provide you with a drop-off point.

B) Go to thewarmingproject.com, buy a case of 30 blankets for $208.80 plus shipping, and donate 'em to The Van.

C) Buy a few 2.5-yard cuts of heavy fleece from a fabric shop (it's on sale for $3.60 a yard at Joann Fabric right now), and donate that.

D) All of the above.

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