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Inconsequential News Quiz: Emotionally rich images edition

Play at home, while rubbing itch cream on your fire ant bites.

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1) For its inaugural festival Aug. 24-26, the Arkansas Cinema Society is planning to hold a special event in Little Rock. What is it?

A) An appearance by actor Adam Driver, who plays (SPOILER!) Han Solo-killer Kylo Ren in the latest installment of the "Star Wars" franchise.

B) World premiere of the new documentary by state Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Ezekiel), titled "Everybody Thinks I'm an Ass Except Jesus, and I'm Not So Sure About Him."

C) Nekkid free-for-all in a hot tub full of movie theater popcorn butter.

D) "Clockwork Orange"-style rampage of ultraviolence by area screenwriter Graham Gordy, with Moog synthesizer accompaniment.

2) The University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences recently received a $422,000 grant to study something. What will UAMS researchers be studying?

A) "Larger Thigh Circumference Potentially Related to Degree of Soullessness In Human Females," a joint project with the Robert Plant Institute in London.

B) Why dogs hang their heads out car windows. (Current theory: You're really boring on road trips.)

C) How mentally healthy adults respond to "emotionally rich images."

D) Whether a submarine and crew can be shrunk small enough to go into Donald Trump's brain and see what the hell has gone wrong in there.

3) According to police, an 18-wheeler that recently overturned on Interstate 40 in Lonoke County, fully blocking the westbound lanes, was carrying cargo. What was it?

A) Thousands of king cobras, anacondas and black mambas. Have a great week, Lonoke County!

B) Hundreds of gallons of bottled whiskey.

C) An estimated 61,000 slightly used "Make America Great Again" hats donated to Goodwill and on their way to the incinerator.

D) A truckload of Coors eastbound from Texarkana to Atlanta, with Jackie Gleason in hot pursuit!

4) At the recent 2017 Arkansas Rice Expo in Stuttgart, keynote speaker Charlie Stenholm, a former Texas congressman who once served as the ranking member of the U.S. House Committee on Agriculture, doled out an uncomfortable truth to attendees. What was it?

A) That mashed potatoes are always going to be better than rice as a side dish to Salisbury steak. Just sayin'.

B) That the political system in Washington is "absolutely broken," with most in Congress unable to even consider the compromise necessary to pass a bill.

C) That the email chain about birds exploding after eating rice thrown at weddings is not only a myth, it's a dumb myth. The stuff grows outside where birds live, you know?

D) His suspicion that rice pudding contains neither rice nor pudding.

5) University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service offices in Southwest Arkansas are trying a surprising new tactic in the ongoing effort to stop the spread of the red fire ant, a stinging invasive species from South America that has infested large portions of the state. What is it?

A) A sit-down with the fire ant queen over coffee and bagels to see if a compromise can be reached.

B) A six-inch wall around Clark County, which the Trump administration promises will be paid for by the ants themselves.

C) Releasing two new species of the phorid fly, a natural predator that lays its eggs in an ant's body, which eventually causes the ant's head to fall off.

D) The Pentagon's $60 billion plan to arm local hives of native ants with thousands of tiny assault rifles, fighter jets and tanks, then just hope for the best.


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