1) Which of the following is true about Glen Schwarz, one of five candidates for Little Rock mayor?
A) He has advocated for a roller coaster-based mass transit system.
B) He said that as mayor he'd like to see the installation of dozens of wire Faraday cages on the War Memorial Golf Course to act as emergency shelters during lightning storms.
C) His campaign slogan is "Mayor Schwarz Be With You," a reference to director Mel Brooks' 1987 sci-fi spoof "Spaceballs."
D) All of the above.
2) It has been revealed that Craighead County Justice of the Peace Billie Sue Hoggard accepted a free trip, including lodging and a private plane ride, to the 2016 Republican National Convention from the owner of a correctional services firm that has a contact with Craighead County, and later failed to disclose the gift as required on her financial disclosure statement. How did the state Ethics Commission punish Hoggard for engaging in a clear conflict of interest?
A) They allowed her to amend her disclosure forms, twice, after a complaint was filed about the trip.
B) The director of the Ethics Commission released a statement in which he said, in part: "There was no indication that [Hoggard] intentionally omitted the gift or intentionally miscalculated an estimated value."
C) They fined her 50 whole bucks.
D) All of the above.
3) A friend of the Arkansas Times' Arkansas Blog recently pointed out something ironic about Governor Hutchinson's touting of the state's record of job growth as one of the big achievements of his administration. What's weird about Asa!'s claim?
A) Ninety-seven percent of the jobs created so far this year have been in the field of methamphetamine production and distribution.
B) Most of the state's job growth is due to Republican legislators hiring criminal defense attorneys.
C) According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, between August 2017 and August 2018, Arkansas ranked 47th in the nation in job growth.
D) After crowing about his record on jobs, Hutchinson bragged that doing 200 squats every morning has helped him develop a "truly epic ass."
4) Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Golden Calf) got sued in federal court recently. Why was Rapert sued?
A) He was seen eating fried catfish, in violation of Leviticus 11:9.
B) He got a little fresh with a Handmaid. Under his eye.
C) Rapert blocks from his social media account those who disagree with him, a move the American Atheists group says constitutes viewpoint discrimination by a public official and is prohibited by the First Amendment.
D) Impersonating a deity.
5) Something happened in Benton recently that's sure to put a damper on Saline County's Christmas Spirit. What happened?
A) Santa got hauled in for possession of OxyContin with intent to deliver.
B) A deputy winged the county judge during live-fire training in preparation to beat back the liberal hordes in the upcoming War on Christmas.
C) The local Christmas tree farm was found to be infested with rare Mexican Face-Jumping Spiders.
D) A trailer containing $4,200 worth of Christmas lights and tools used to light the Saline County Courthouse every year was stolen by persons unknown.