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Drop football

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For years, there's been a debate over whether the University of Arkansas should drop intercollegiate football. The events of last weekend prove that the time has come.

The players and coaches at Fayetteville clearly have no aptitude for the "game" — more hooliganism than actual sporting competition — and it will be to their credit to renounce it. Already a member of the coaching staff has told ESPN confidentially, "It's brutal and sweaty and demeaning." That was the coach who was in charge of pass defense on the final play of the LSU game.

Some form of competition will be needed to replace football if the UA is to remain a well-rounded institution and not just a hotbed of relentless scholars. Here too, there is an answer readily at hand. Hendrix College, another distinguished Arkansas institution of higher learning, has recently dismayed alumni and friends by taking up football, and eliminating the men's sport that Hendrix has always dominated in this state — competitive toe-dancing.

Barbarians have seized control of the Hendrix administration apparently, and on Saturday afternoon, the campus now rings to cries of "Kill the m***********s! The hell with Jane Austen, whoever she is!"

"It's heartbreaking," a Hendrix alumnus told us, referring to the football brutes who've replaced the classic Hendrix gentleman of refinement. "These new fellows are covered with tattoos, they wear their pants with their underwear showing, they spit on the floor in the classroom. In my day, we had signs on the wall: 'If you spit on the floor at home, go to UCA and spit on the floor.' "

This is exactly the kind of undergraduate the UA can do without. And will, once football has been banished, and toe-dance is king.

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