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Bye-week bullets

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Anybody else think this has so far been one of the sloppiest seasons of college football in recent memory? Maybe that has something to do with parity and youth in the major conferences, but I can't find a single top-25 team that hasn't won at least one game in spite of itself — and I'm including the Crimson Tide in those calculations.

Now for some giddy randomness:

• As far as I'm concerned, Les Miles is the best possible coach for the LSU Tigers. His clock management skills are unparalleled; his command of the English language is fluent and even, dare I say, eloquent. Long live the Hat!

• Turns out former Razorback Reggie Fish signed on for my local Hamilton TiCats. I recounted the muffed punt story at the dog park last week. Still hurts, but I'm looking forward to seeing him play wacky Canadian-style football. Wonder if he and Sonny Weems, who still plays for the Raptors, ever get together?

• Speaking of the roundball, Pelphrey has sold recruits on the future of the Razorback basketball. Can he sell the fan base following another sub-.500 season? Can fans really be expected to sit on their hands until the year after "next year"?

• Back to the season at hand: The coach's poll has Florida ahead of Arkansas this week, which makes perfect sense if you don't have time to watch the games and instead sign off on whatever your sports information director cobbles together while you're watching tape and stealing a few precious moments with your family in between practice and meetings.

• Also, I don't think Auburn is anywhere near as good as Cam Newton. The man's a dangerous weapon who forgives a lot of their deficiencies. If all else fails, he falls forward five yards. The Hogs definitely need to be firing on all cylinders by week seven.

• Speaking of mobile quarterbacks, how about this Denard Robinson character? By my estimate, he took a huge lead in the Heisman voting over the weekend with some fourth quarter heroics against Indiana. That's right: We're suddenly meant to take the Hoosiers seriously. Whooowhat!? Didn't you hear that Gene Hackman and the ghost of Dennis Hopper have taken over on the sidelines? What's the football equivalent of a granny shot?

• The only thing that blunts the thrill of watching Texas struggle is seeing Oklahoma succeed. I knew the Big 12 was going to be wide open this year, but I have no idea what to make of this conference — except that Nebraska looks like it's going to leave the Big 12 a big winner.

• Paul Petrino's Fighting Illini put real fear into Ohio State this weekend, keeping the game within reach deep into the fourth quarter, but the Buckeyes out-muscled them after Zook played it a little too cautious, opting for a field goal to come within four points with 4:36 left. That kind of loss is how "Zooked" became a verb.

• Oregon is sure fun to watch, as is the rest of the Pac 10 this season, but something tells me the Ducks would struggle against any team willing to trade them blow for blow. Still, that win against Jim Harbaugh's Cardinal stands out as one of the most convincing among top 5 teams.

• California could solve its energy woes by harnessing the Schadenfreude centered on Lane Kiffin every time he takes a loss. Maybe that was the plan all along. There has to be some reasonable explanation for this man's existence.

• If only Georgia had A.J. Green when they played the Hogs. ... They would have fielded the same squad that lost to Colorado — a team that got blown out by Cal 52-7.

• Staying out west, Mike Stoops' Arizona is off to an improbable start that will become a distant memory as early as next week, but their win at home over Iowa will haunt fans for years to come, especially since the Hawkeyes are fielding the most complete team in the Big 10 and will have a decent shot at running the table with a win this weekend in Ann Arbor.

• Oh yeah, this weekend: We have a game coming up, huh? Texas A&M gave the nation a pretty entertaining football game last Thursday, keeping stride with manly Mike Gundy's Cowboys right to the finish. Unfortunately for the Aggies, they finished second.

• So it was a race, right? Despite the presence of one of the best linebackers in the country, Von Miller, the Aggies essentially treated defensive possessions like water breaks. Oklahoma State's offense was on the field for just over 20 minutes. The score was 38-35.

• Granted, one of their TDs was on a fumble return. Despite throwing for five touchdowns, Jerrod Johnson was his own undoing. He accounted for all of the Aggies' turnovers: four interceptions and a fumble. He was sacked four times and on his heels for most of the night.

• I'm throwing caution out the window: Arkansas will crush this team. Our defense will feast on Johnson, hemming him in on the ends and removing his options down the field. He may prick us a couple times, but we will not bleed.

• Meanwhile, the Razorback offense will be relentless, and not only out of frustration over the Alabama loss. The Hogs have to prove they can show up for the second half, and the only way to do that against a team as soft as Texas A&M is to drive up the score. Things are about to get gaudy.

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