Columns » John Brummett

Arrows, but no Bubba

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A woman walked up to me in stern and business-like fashion the other day and said these few words: “Arrows and the Tote-the-Note guy.”

Apparently she was ordering up columns firing arrows and visiting with Bubba McCoy, who no longer calls his establishment Bubba's Tote-the-Note, but Bubba's Auto Emporium, though he pronounces it Emporum.

Let's do arrows. Bubba has been pheasant hunting in Nebraska and is gearing up for ducks and deer around here. This is his best time of year, and he probably doesn't want to be bothered with my political nonsense right now. Suffice to say he's down on Bush and Nutt and can't believe he's about to vote for Hillary.

â Hillary Clinton — I need to remind you of something. It's that these arrow columns were started two decades ago as spoofs on conventional wisdom, which tends to change with the breeze and prey on our short memories. OK?

So, on that basis, and only for the moment, Hillary has lost a debate, looked wishy-washy, gotten flustered and appeared not altogether as invincible as before.

Then her campaign had the utter and breath-taking audacity to whine that the men were picking on the woman. Talk about having it both ways. She throws feminism under the bus the first time she hits political trouble.

Anyway, we need to get her vulnerability on the record, since it probably won't last long.

· Mike Huckabee — How hot is he? I'm getting calls from writers for The New York Times Sunday magazine and Rolling Stone, both at work on profiles of Our Boy Mike. The guy for the Times wanted to know if Huckabee had been an effective governor. The answer to that is yes. He wanted to know if Huckabee is a good or bad guy. Again, the answer to that is yes.

But remember again: This is conventional wisdom, thus fleeting. I suspect these folks need to get their pieces published before the New Hampshire primary, when Huckabee will finish behind Mitt Romney, John McCain, Rudy Giuliani and, get this, Ron Paul. New Hampshire's motto is “live free or die.” Do you think a libertarian can't appeal to that?

· Mike Beebe — He just took a four-day vacation with his wife to the Bahamas. It probably drove him crazy. This man's real vacation is his job.

· Sheffield Nelson — The return of “Captain Flame,” back to save the day on the severance tax and higher education.

· Houston Nutt — Did I mention the ever-fluid nature of conventional wisdom? His teams have won two conference games consecutively. Now they tell me the Board of Trustees is neutral and that John White won't fire him and that he will quit on his own only for a package so lucrative it permits him to give up all he's getting, and is in line to get, here.

â Me — See immediately preceding item.

â Wally Hall — See item before last.

· Darren McFadden — The Heisman is his, since conventional wisdom offers this kind of pronouncement each Saturday night, and usually about a different player. I turned on the South Carolina game in time to see the Gamecocks close it to 42-36. I figured Houston was about to blow another one. Then Arkansas got the ball at its 20. They handed to McFadden. I sneezed. They said it was 48-36. Talk about your yabba-dabba-doo.

· John Pelphrey — There's nothing conventional wisdom loves more than an undefeated coach. Because of deadlines of some weeklies, this is written before Tuesday night's exhibition game against some NAIA outfit calling itself Campbellsville. If he lost that one, turn his arrow upside down.

·Frank Broyles — His accomplishments amaze. His imminent retirement causes us to consider the breadth and depth of his career, not anything specific that he's pulled lately.

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