I’m online and ready for the Academy Awards.  I’m at a party with friends including Arkansas Times Entertainment Editor Jim Harris, eating food, drinking wine and watching the festivities before the big show begins. 

The players tonight are: JH, TH, MMK, SJ, CJ, SL and BL.

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6:33 – food’s coming out and the Barbara Walters special is on the television.  Just watched Jennifer Hudson sing to Barbara Walters and Helen Mirren’s on now, but I have no idea what she’s saying.  Glass of King Estates Pinot Gris in hand.

 6:44  – Eddie Murphy’s talking to Barbara now.  Nice clip from the 80’s where he said he didn’t care about winning and Oscar.  Yeah, right.  I wish she would have asked him what the hell he was thinking doing “Norbit.”  I don’t care how many millions it made at the box office.  Murphy is funny, you have to give him that.

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 6:55 – talking “High Fidelity” now.  General consensus about the quality of the film, although those of us that read Nick Hornby’s novel admitted its superiority to the film.  Still, thumbs up for Jack Black.  You think Barbara Walters wants Eddie Murphy to win tonight?

7:08 – Red carpet on ABC is up and running.  Leo, Steve Carrell, Jennifer Hudson and now the costume designer for “The Devil Wears Prada.”  What the hell was up with that red hair?  JH asks, “who is that squirrel asking the questions?”  A Heather Locklear ad came on and the comments ensued.  Which led us to Denise Richards, who stole Locklear’s man.  “The worst actress in the history of film,” notes JH.  All agree.

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7:16 – Cameron Diaz, lots of negative comments including “I bet there’s an imprint of her ass on the casting couch.”  Cate Blanchett, my personal favorite.  “Gorgeous,” says TH.  Ryan Gosling, solid effort in “Half Nelson.”  Here come “The Notebook” comments, including “it’s the chick flick.”  People are making their picks at commercials.  “Art Direction,” “Original Song,” “Make-Up,” “Costume Design,” “Documentary Short” . . . no one has a clue.  Not even me.   

7:27 – Who is this guy interviewing people?  He’s terrible.  Kate Winslet looked great.  Still some confusion regarding the nominees.  What’s the difference between sound editing and sound mixing?  Hell if I know.  The’s show’s beginning.

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7:31 – Love the intro.  Will Ellen bring the funny?

7:45 – Thumbs up for Ellen.  Lots of laughs.  Award one coming now:  Best Art Direction.  My pick – “Dreamgirls.” 

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7:47 – First Oscar for “Pan’s Labyrinth.”  I was wrong, but I’m pleased.  Looks like a good night for the folks behind this marvelous film. 

7:49 – The BSR It Girl takes the stage.  She’s doing the scientific awards.  Watching the “hello” commercial directed by Spike Lee for Apple.  Great commercial.  Of course, I’m catching shit for my summaries.  Jack Black and Will Ferrell.  Yes!  John C. Reilly too. Thumbs way up.

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 8:02 – “I’ve seen better animation on YouTube” was JH’s reaction to Best Animated Short winner “The Danish Poet.”  No one at our party got it right.  Best Make-Up went to “Pan’s Labyrinth.”  Big winner over here.  Live Action Short – I picked “West Bank Story.”  And the winner is . . . “West Bank Story.”  CJ also got it.  How does one get to see the Oscar-nominated shorts?  JH is calling Matt Smith.

 8:13  – “this sucks,” “this is awful,” “this is a waste of time,” “you should not make people look that stupid on stage.”  General comments about the sound effects choir.  JH appreciates their talents.  He would.  Steve Carrell and Greg Kinnear take the stage.  Best Sound Editing – My pick is “Letters from Iwo Jima.”  And the winner is . . . “Letters from Iwo Jima.” “I didn’t realize people made all those sounds.”  This dude is talking way to slow.  The other guy is furious that he can’t talk.  Cut off at the knees.

8:18 – Jessica Biel is also a looker.  Sound Mixing.  We don’t know what the hell that is, but we all picked “Dreamgirls.”  And the winner is . . . “Dreamgirls.”  These dudes shouldn’t be using notes, the litigator in the room tells us.  Another speaker cut off.  “Guys in the back room”?  Get off the stage.

8:21 – Rachel Weisz takes the stage which means it’s best supporting actor time.  Alan Arkin wins!  The first upset of the night.  “Norbit” sunk Eddie Murphy.     

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8:31 – James Taylor.  MMK and JH love Jimmy T.  Here comes Gore and Leo. Yeah, Gore’s profile continues to go up.  Show’s gone green.  What the hell was Jerry Seinfeld doing with his face?  Melissa Etheridge did a nice job too.  Didn’t want to miss that.  “True champion for the cause,” says Leo to the former VP.  Second announcement joke.  Very good!  I wonder if the Leo clip ever makes it into an ad?  I guess we’ll know in September.

8:43 – a lot of concern that Cameron Diaz had to memorize her lines because she’s not smart enough to read the teleprompter.  Best Animated Feature . . .”Happy Feet.”  I didn’t see it.  A certain three-year-old would be disappointed if she even know what the Oscars was.  The guy accepeting the award might be drunk.

8:45 – SH wants to know how Ben Affleck still gets on stage?  Writing montage is quite good.  You can never have enough “Ed Wood” and “Sunset Blvd.” 

8:49 – Best Adapted Screenplay with Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren.  My pick is “The Departed.”  Love the way they’re introducing the nominees.  And the winner is . . . “The Departed.”  “Valium does work.”  May be the line of the night.  “Ah, this is horrible,” says SJ.  Yeah, it went downhill fast.

8:57 – One thing is for sure, the Oscars already have the Super Bowl beat in terms of commercials.  The Wes Anderson American Express commercial (which actually debuted in theatres some time ago) and the “hello” commercial whip whatever crap we had to watch during the Super Bowl.

9:00 – “The Devil Wears Prada” chicks presenting Costume Design.  Marian Cunningham as one of the costume models?  Ok, this is stupid (note to the PRODUCER OF THE SHOW).  “Marie Antionette” is the winner.  I missed it.  JH is furious.  Says this has been done over and over.  Pat is accepting an Oscar.  This is incoherent.  Bye – bye.  Au revoir.

9:05 – Great.  Tom Cruise.  I’m going to the bathroom and to pour another glass of wine.

9:09 – Cruise presented the Humanitarian Award.  Kudos to the winner, but I’m not sorry I missed Cruise. 

9:11 – Ellen going out into the crowd seems to be working.

9:12 – Gwenyth Paltrow presenting Best Cinematography.  My pick is “Children of Men.”  And the winner is. . .”Pan’s Labyrinth.”  Damn.  Big night for “Pan’s Labyrinth.”  This is a bit of an upset.

 

 

 

 

 

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