I come from a generation in which magazine articles suggesting that “No means Yes” were ever present in our formative years. We grew up in a world in which women were regarded as castles to be stormed, battles to be won, human beings to be dominated.
At this point a whole bunch of holier-than-thou men are going to leap out of the woodwork and say that their sexual behavior has always been above reproach. Okay, if that helps you sleep at night . . .
I suspect that these same stalwarts are the most vociferous of the Trump defenders this week.
At any rate, guys who want to leap up and eagerly seize the mantle of sexual sainthood can never quite be trusted, I suspect.
But for the rest of us, the ones who have to consider Donald Trump’s words and alleged actions - and Bill Clinton’s, as well - the next few days may well prove to be uncomfortable.
It’s pretty easy to convince ourselves that all of our sexual relationships have been one hundred percent without reproach, that our partners haven’t felt pressured to sleep with us. Hell, we convince ourselves that most of the time, our partners really are having orgasms.
But sometimes, in the wee dark hours of the night, days later, weeks later, years later, we think about our encounters. We worry about them - and it isn’t our sexual performance that we are wondering about.
Was our sexual partner truly our sexual partner? Or did our size, strength and sometimes outright refusal to hear the word “No” - expressed either by word or by action - make them our sexual serf, afraid to walk out?
Have those of us who have achieved any sort of political, creative or athletic celebrity - be it major or minor - used that celebrity as a tool of seduction?
Do we wonder why former lovers refuse our Facebook friend requests, avoid us in real life, or never answer the phone when we call? Are we oblivious to the fact that our continued presence among the living makes them nervous, or even afraid?
Have our actions made it harder for the next man in a woman’s life, a man who might well treat them better than we did, that we have left our former lovers no longer with an ability to trust?
Like ripples in a pond, has sexual or emotional immaturity, cruelty or disdain made life worse for people we will never meet?
These are matters which all men who have been sexually active must think about, and confront. And like most men who are honest about themselves, I may well have a long and sleepless night tonight . . .
No music tonight, just listening to the news.
Now on YouTube: CNN’s Bob Losure - The Interview
My interview with former CNN anchor Bob Losure, who paid me me a nice compliment about my interviewing skills some years ago.
Quote of the Day
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield