Somewhere, William Peter Blatty, author of The Exorcist, i
s writhing in his grave at the news of Destination America’s planned “live exorcism” on October 30.
The cable outlet, known for such high quality fare as Alaska Wildlife Troopers, Amish Haunting, Armageddon Arsenals, BBQ Pitmasters: Father vs. Son, Last Call Food Brawl, Swamp Loggers, Unsealed: Alien Files
and the ever-popular When Ghosts Attack!
has concocted the scheme of performing an exorcism on the house which was the inspiration for the original novel and film, The Exorcist.
Just looking at the above list almost makes you want to expand your cable package, doesn’t it?
Now, The Exorcist
gripped the hell out of me, though I’m not a real big believer in demonic possession . . . pretty much on the skeptical side, if truth be told.
But what I do know about demonic possession is this . . .
. . . Code Red! Code Red! Code Red!
I mean, like, dude, demonic possession! It ain’t like spiritual elective surgery. A person or house gets possessed, don’t they pose a clear and present danger to both themselves and the world-at-large?
Aren’t they a menace to navigation, as it were?
Not to Destination America, it seems. The cable network which has elevated bacon to a form of pornography, and would have us believe that Americans have more to fear from folks in the afterlife than from terrorists, announced their plans back in July.
What? These slackards are willing to wait three solid months before helping the imperiled folks who live in the neighborhood? Why? Were the “exorcists” too busy chasing down Bigfoot to make time in their schedule before October?
One can only assume that this is a pretty low priority possession. But dollars to doughnuts by the end of the show, the good guys will have won, and that pesky house demon will be moving on to some trailer park somewhere.
But then, demonic possession has provided quite a bit of income for enterprising Americans, and not just sleazy cable channel operators.
Aside from possessed people, and houses, we also have possessed objects - dolls, photo albums (now there’s a waste of spectral energy) and books.
My God, boys and girls, it seems that demons can even possess used clothing! Though I suspect that this particular rumour is spread by the folks who operate stores in your local mall . . .
Cats might even be possessed . . . which, if you ask our dogs, might actually be true.
At any rate, On October 30, Destination America and the crew of Ghost Asylum (“We catch ghosts!”) will do their part in the war to dumb down America.
I won’t be there, though.
Quote of the Day
Risk! Risk Anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. - Katherine Mansfield