I had an Elvis Presley moment last night, watching a local newscast (we watch a different one every night) as two Low Information Anchors asked us, “Is it possible to be a ‘conservative Democrat?’”
This didn’t come out of the blue, as they had markedly promoted the segment a few minutes before. Following a short piece about Bill Clinton, the two proud anchors - they were, after all, about to present a “hard news story” - asked the question with not quite as much seriousness as when they ask themselves if they have bought lottery tickets (another function of modern TV news).
They could have sent reporters out on the street and asked folks at random - they are, after all, located in the heart of Northwest Arkansas - to the local Democratic Party or even to one of our local colleges to interview a pointy-headed intellectual, who would no doubt have put the anchors to sleep with all of their graphs, charts and big words.
No, they went to an unimpeachable source - they called a Republican who is running for office for hisn opinion. I mean, why ask Democrats? They can’t be trusted to give an honest answer on questions as weighty as this one.
Well, the Wise Man (who is unprejudiced in any way shape or form) told us that while many folks in Arkansas are quite conservative, the “Democrat Party” (at this point our two mesmerized anchors were too overcome to remember that there is no such actual creature as a “Democrat Party”) is hardly conservative.
And with that, our intrepid reporters beamed at their audience. A job well done, and nobody was any wiser than if they had just gone fishing instead of watching the news that day . . .
News for illiterates?
I shouldn’t complain, I suppose, since TV news has been dumbed down so much. Between the obligatory Walmart press releases and pimping for the lottery (both state and local), between the grins, giggles and guffaws, local news (what there is of it that is actually local) seems to be written for the sub-literate crowd.
Carrying weapons is “packing heat.”
Police officers become "cops."
Dollars are referred to as "bucks," and folks are arrested for “intox.”
Some of these folks wouldn’t make the grade at My Weekly Reader.
A BBC correspondent once told Jon Stewart during a Daily Show interview that if she had to rely on American news she’d shoot herself in the head.
Not to worry, though, American news will tell us which news stories are “trending,” and can fill those awkward gaps on the air with cute YouTube videos.
USA . . . USA . . . USA . . .
Today’s blog was brought to you by the CD “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” with the Vince Guaraldi Trio. No dialogue, just some really nice music, including some great jazz.
Quote of the Day
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson