Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Just because you call yourself America’s Toughest Sheriff, does that mean you really are? Or that fawning talking heads on TV have to call you that as well? | Street Jazz

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Just because you call yourself America’s Toughest Sheriff, does that mean you really are? Or that fawning talking heads on TV have to call you that as well?


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”Sometimes these kinds of things occur in big departments . . . if there were any victims, I apologize.” - Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, “apologizing” to victims of sexual assault, whose crimes were not investigated because his department was too busy investigating the dangers of illegal immigrants.

When I was a much younger person, I enjoyed reading comic books, a pleasure I don’t indulge in much these days, though I do enjoy the occasional graphic novel. True, Batman comics have (and probably always will) claimed my allegiance as the best of all superhero comics, but that didn’t stop me from spending a small fortune on other mags, as well.

One of the comics I enjoyed a great deal was Fantastic Four, which promoted itself as the “Worlds Greatest Comics Magazine.” If all you know about the FF are the unfortunate movies, you should check out some of the old collected stories.

But still, the world’s “greatest” comics magazine? Understand that I was a much younger Drake at the time, and so the idea that this was just publisher/editor Stan “Excelsior!” Lee’s usual exuberant, mad promotion for Marvel Comics never occurred to me.

After all, they give awards out for all sorts of things, from Emmy’s to Oscars to Hugos. It was just barely possible that Fantastic Four had, actually, gotten recognition for being the world’s greatest comic’s magazine. I mean, there is “On the Air with Richard S. Drake Day,” so anything is possible in the universe.

Well, they were pretty good stories, especially in the 70s, but great? Gimme a break.

Allegiance aside, I never quite bought into the line about Batman (yeah, I’m supposed to call him the Batman, but nobody outside Batfandom appreciates the distinction) being the “World’s Greatest Detective.” I mean, after Sherlock Holmes, you’ve got Joe Mannix competing for the title, right?

So it is with some cynicism that I hear fawning talking heads on the magic box (many times a great deal less magical than others) refer to Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio as "America’s Toughest Sheriff," which is a title he awarded himself years ago, hoping that others would follow suit.

And by cactus. it worked! Only reality has become so warped by now, Kayoed Reader, that many seem to think that it is the “media” - whatever that has come to mean anymore - which has granted him the title out of deep respect.

The Sheriff of Maricopa County since 1992, he erected the famous “Tent City,” where a couple of thousand men and women serve their sentences. Inmates in his care are fed twice a day, at the average cost of perhaps 40 cents.

Oh yeah, the inmates get to wear pink underwear and pink handcuffs. Because we’re all tough guys in Arizona, dude. And yes, sometimes pregnant illegal women have been forced to give birth while in shackles, but I’m sure it was all “for the children.”

You can buy pink underwear on his website, by the way.

I ain’t goin’ there, though the temptation is mighty strong . . .

And yes, continuing our war on children, he created America’s first juvenile chain gang, but sometimes you have to scar a kid emotionally and physically to make a few omelettes - especially if you are trying to embellish your image.

The prissy feds, those who are naturally threatened when a man’s man finally starts to set things right in the world, have tried to impede his way by all sorts of investigations.

America’s Toughest Sheriff, who deserves all of our support, especially as he looks for volunteers to man his posse of volunteers to “guard” the public schools, was cruelly criticized because - what? 400? - cases of sexual assault were not investigated by his department in recent years. And yes, after one fellow was not investigated, he did manage to commit more sexual assaults, but as the good sheriff explained to the the whiny “victims” and their families:

“Sometimes these kinds of things occur in big departments . . ..”

Even those who take sexual assault lightly might be a little creeped out by that one.

Joe Arpaio ios is a pretty good example of how, sometimes, you can control your own legend - up to a point. But then, of course, the historians come along.


Facebook and the Second Amendment Game

It doesn’t seem to matter what someone posts on Facebook in the past few weeks - the subject will invariably turn to:

The Second Amendment

How the government is attempting to “assault” gun owners’ rights

How gun owners are the last bulwark against a tyrannical government

Liberals are stupid-heads

Go ahead, try it. Post something about the weather, or better yet, one of your favorite quotations - it really draws folks in if it’s from one of the Founding Fathers.

Post something about sexual assault, or living in a foreign country (crime statistics galore will spring up) or anything of a religious nature, and it really gets things going.

Too many have become the glassy-eyed stranger in the Facebook bar, unable to focus on what has actually been written, but see an opportunity to leap in with a defense/condemnation of the Second Amendment at the drop of a hat.

Too many of us are in danger of becoming like the guy that others cross the street to avoid talking to, because we have the eternal one-track mind.


Quote of the Day

The dog has got more fun out of man than man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that man is the more laughable of the two animals. - James Thurber


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