No Comedy, Please: We’re Elk Citians | Street Jazz

No Comedy, Please: We’re Elk Citians

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I should have realized when we stopped at a La Quinta on the way here, and saw that the only news channel available was Fox was a portent of things to come - especially when this particular motel previously had a great cable offering for guests.

Being as we finally have some time to spend getting Tray’s late mother’s house ready to sell, we set up cable here in Elk City, Oklahoma, since we will be making trips between the New York City of the Ozarks and the Dark Heart of America to get all of this done once and for all.

We have cable with all the bells and whistles in Fayetteville, various movie channels and the high def service. Here in Elk City, we have basic.

Even so, don’t be looking for the Sundance Channel or BBC America on the Cable One offerings here; we counted ourselves lucky to get MSNBC. Still, we aren’t here to watch TV - well, not all the time. I do love the Demon Box.

Looking to relax a few nights ago, we turned to Comedy Central to catch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Instead, we got static and a graphic which read, “No signal.”

Okay, that’s screwy, especially as it is offered on the brochure they gave us.

The next day, my wife called the local office and they told her it would be $45 to have someone come out and fix the problem.

“What?” she said, with a note of indignation. “$45 to fix his screw up? We only got this set up yesterday!”

After a few moments of silence, the functionary at the other end of the line offered to teach my wife how to “reprogram” the cable box.

In disgust, she hung up. Later, I tried to reprogram the damn thing, but still no joy.

I then called the ever helpful 1-800 number the next day and asked about this, and the very nice person on the other end expressed surprise at the problem. Looking through her records, she told me that no one from Elk City had “complained” about not having Comedy Central, and that I could reprogram the box myself, if I just followed the instructions provided in the book that came with our materials.

So we are sitting there, thinking perhaps that this TV we have rented for a week has some sort of glitch - until, that is, we talk to several other folks, who tell us that they, too, do not have Comedy Central.

“But they said we did,” I bleated like a lamb who hasn’t quite gotten to full picture yet.

“They lied,” laughed one woman.

Well, at least they show clips on various news shows (mainly on MSNBC) but I want my Jon Stewart!

It’s just one more thing that makes returning to Fayetteville that much sweeter.

******

So about those nonexistent complaints

I wonder if the local Cable One office has passed on our complaint to Cable One Command?

Along the line of complaints, it sort of makes me wonder if local Elk Citers may have complained to the local office about Comedy Central, and someone quietly pulled the plug.

*****

Oh, Louisiana, you make me dream of the 1960s - and in a real ugly way

Reading the local paper yesterday, my eye fell upon (don’t you love it when when your eye does that? Almost like it has a mind of its own) a piece entitled. “Bad dog to get new life as La. prison guard.”

It seems that a wolf/dog hybrid by the name of Chief, who had been ordered destroyed for aggressive behavior, has had his sentence revoked.

This bad boy will now - thanks to District Judge James Best - find a meaningful life working at the Louisiana State Prison - Angola.

Some may find this story heart-warming, but images of the 1960s went through my mind, when police dogs were turned on civil rights marchers.

But this is a silly thing for me to think about. And I am sure, that the inmate population - 76 percent of which is black - will welcome Chief with loving arms.

*****

Quote of the Day

You don’t have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. - John Ciardi

rsdrake@cox.net

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