During the drought of 1980, when Arkansas went for an appreciable amount of time without rain, a bizarre article appeared in one of our state-wide newspapers.
It seems that a farmer was driving down one of our dusty roads, and spotted a young fellow walking. “Hello, young fellow,” the farmer said, “need a ride?”
“Sure do! Thanks!”
I am, of course, supplying most (if not all) of the dialogue for the exchange here.
At some point in their ride together, the young man casually mentions that his name is Jesus Christ, and that it is never going to rain again.
The farmer’s head whips around to look at his passenger, but the Mysterious Messenger from Beyond has vanished without a trace.
Well, manic reader, what is a fella supposed to do at that point? Why, you get in touch with the newspaper folks, who promptly write it down and put it in the paper.
Thankfully not on the front page, though.
When you read something like this, you are just left to wonder, what is wrong with you people?
This is the sort of thing television news might jump at, using cheesy sound effects, or sappy religious music, depending upon the mood of those in charge that day, but newspaper folks? Aren’t higher standards supposed to be the order of the day?
Anyway, “Jesus” was wrong.
I’ve always wondered if this guy spent the most part of 1999 warning folks about Y2K.
Ah, sweet Y2K
In what might only be described as a need to fill space, I allowed a local fellow to write a Y2K column in the Ozark Gazette all those years ago. I’ve sometimes thought that maybe I should have gone to his house in January 2000 and somehow gotten one last column out of him.
Richard S. Drake Sings the Classics
Yet another in my attempt to become a washed-out comedian, this might amuse some people. One person described my first song try as “Dean Martin singing Frank Sinatra.” I wish I could say that took talent.
But then again, singing really badly isn’t as easy as it looks . . .
Quote of the Day
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. - Henry Cardinal Newman