by Robert Bell
THEORY OF A DEADMAN
7 p.m. Magic Springs' Timberwood Amphitheater. $50-$60.
You know, sometimes we music critics encounter a band whose lyrics are so achingly beautiful and sublimely poetic that we just need to stand back and let the words speak for themselves, so to speak. Such is the case with Canadian band Theory of a Deadman and their song "Bitch Came Back."
Just let these nuggets of romantic inspiration wash over you: "I like her so much better when she's down on her knees / 'Cause when she's in my face is when I'm starting to see / That all my friends are right for thinking that we'd be wrong / Well she's so fuckin' stupid bitch she's singing along." Makes Leonard Cohen look like a hack, am I right?
Here's another bon mot: "There she goes again just always breaking my balls / No matter what I do somehow it's always my fault / She says I must be cheating 'cause I turned off my phone / But that's the only frickin' way she'll leave me alone."
I don't think there's any more I could do to demonstrate the brilliance of this band, so we'll just leave it there. Opening the show is 9 Miles Ahead.