by Robert Bell
For some reason, Bill Maher — comedian, filmmaker, TV producer, political commentator and host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" — has decided to try to bring his acerbic wit and withering put-downs to all of us slack-jawed, illiterate hillbillies here in Arkansas.
Aw, heck. Knowing us, we probably won't really "get" his jokes and so forth. Oh sure, we'll probably eventually figure out when it is we're supposed to laugh. A few nervous, ignorant titters will pepper the gaping, post-punchline chasms your more edumacated crowds would fill with confident and sophisticated chuckles. Oh man, let's don't embarrass ourselves too much in front of Bill, y'all. Seriously, we need to to get this right. What can we do to prove that we're deserving of his urbane sensibilities and shiny, bespoke vestments?
Hey, here's a great idea: How about we get ol' U.S. Sen. Mark Pryor down there for some kind of on-stage banter! They're probably good buddies after Mark was interviewed for Bill's movie about churches or whatever it was. That went so well. And don't worry, if Mark says anything too stupid, we can just edit it later on to make him look smarter. If Mark's not available, maybe we just get U.S. Rep. Tom Cotton. He seems like he's a real good sport and a sensible guy, and Bill likes him too. It'll be a hoot!
You know, maybe this won't be so bad after all.
Tickets are available at 10 a.m. Monday in a "pre-sale" (whatever that is) and for the "General Public" at 10 a.m. on Friday, June 28. They're gonna run you $60-$86.