by Robert Bell
So if you parked your car anywhere in the vicinity of Riverfest a couple of weeks back, you might have gotten a flyer tucked underneath your windshield wiper advertising some kind of vaguely political (or perhaps vaguely apolitical — it was hard to tell) event called "United We Stand" that was going to take place at Verizon Arena on June 22.
According to the handbill, the event was organized by a group called Free & Equal in order to "ROCK THE NATION AWAKE!" — the nation being asleep or looking at Facebook or otherwise not paying attention. According to its website, Free & Equal is a "non-profit formed to break the stranglehold of the two-party system and reform the electoral system throughout the United States."
Among the names slated for the event: wrestler-type and (supposedly) former Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura, rock bands Saving Abel and Golden State, the utterly repellent Larry Pratt (executive director of the beyond-wingnut Gun Owners of America), Libertarian singer-songwriter Tatiana Moroz, Dan Johnson (who needs no introduction, I'm sure) and a host of other very famous and influential people.
Well, sorry folks. Free & Equal has decided to move the megastar-studded shindig to Los Angeles. According to Christina Tobin, founder and chair of Free & Equal, the formerly North Little Rock-based event was a victim of its own success before it even started.
"There has been an outpouring of support and interest in this event," Tobin said in a press release, "By moving to Los Angeles we will be able to bring on even more A-list talent and reach a wider audience in keeping with our mission to spread electoral reform to all fifty states."
Make sense to me. I mean, it's not like they could've organized events in both cities, right? Or booked some sort of "tour," which would see the rally traveling to many different cities to raise awareness about the vital importance of whatever it is they're all about, right? That would be insanity.
Sorry, y'all. Verizon Arena and Central Arkansas simply weren't big enough to contain the star-packed awesomeness of "United We Stand." Perhaps we can console ourselves by listening to this over and over.