Wednesday To-Do: Melvins | Rock Candy

Wednesday To-Do: Melvins

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Melvins play at Juanitas Wednesday.
  • Melvins play at Juanita's Wednesday.

MELVINS
9 p.m. Juanita's. $15.

What we have here is nothing short of one of the most influential heavy bands of all time taking on a heroic feat of touring that would surely whip the asses of lesser groups: The Melvins are attempting to set a world record by playing all 50 states and the District of Columbia in 51 consecutive days (Little Rock is show No. 43).

They got rolling Sept. 5 up in Anchorage, Alaska. Do you know how long ago that probably seems to them? Do you think any of these young, eyeliner/denim leggings/expensive-gear-that-mom-and-dad-paid-for clowns could ever withstand such an ordeal? Pffffft. Yeah, right.

So one great thing that's come out of this herculean endeavor is that the band is keeping a tour blog over at Spin.com. I highly recommend it. It's hilarious, chock-full of unsparing observations about the vagaries of the road, excellent trash-talking of various bloated-corpse rock gods and other withering commentary on worthy targets. Sample headlines: "Eating Bathroom Lettuce," "Patchouli Vs. Farts" and "Bono is a 'Rich Idiot,' Freak Asks About Cobain."

Pro-tip: Don't ask about Cobain. Other pro-tip: Don't scream any requests. I saw Melvins 13 years ago in Missoula, Mont., at a place that, if memory serves, was called The Cowboy Bar. It was a killer show, despite people periodically yelling out "Boris!" and "Honey Bucket!" and so forth. I can therefore tell you that best-case scenario, your entreaties will be ignored. They're gonna play what they wanna play, so how about just zip it and enjoy the show.

Opening the show is Tweak Bird, a two-bro combo specializing in twisted psychedelic rock.


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