In order of chronology:
The incredible Richard Buckner plays Stickyz Sept. 28.
The great bluesman Guitar Shorty plays Stickyz Oct. 21.
Atlanta act Family Force 5 plays Revolution Nov. 5.
Buckner, of course, is one of the best modern songwriters going, bar none.
Guitar Shorty is a legend who has played with Ray Charles, Sam Cooke, Little Richard and other titans.
But the other act stumped me. Just who is this Family Force 5?
A bit of cursory research reveals a band that is capable of melding the crunchy groove of Rage Against the Machine with the keen socio-political observations of Bubba Sparxx and then before you can even begin to figure out what the hell just happened, they've spun on a dime, mutating into some type of electro-rock outfit that's stuck in a bizarre, Tron-meets-Mighty-Morphin-Power-Rangers world that they have to dance their way out of, to a song with lyrics such as "1, 2, 3, 4 / I declare a dance war" and "5, 6, 7, 8 / Now we're gonna celebrate."
On first blush, listening to this band is a bit like talking to an overly excited frat dude who's had 15 Adderall, three bars of Xanax and like 376 Smirnoff Ices and he's trying to explain how awesome it was that one time when he saw Ghostland Observatory and they covered Blink 182.
I'm left wondering whether this band is a real or if it's some Tim & Eric-style performance-art joke on everyone in the entire world. Either way, it makes me want to claw my own eyes out, just as soon as I finish strangling everyone in America between the ages of 16 and 25.
Just kidding, the future of music looks bright. Pay no attention to that pathetic old dude mumbling to himself in the corner about the damn Millennials and their constantly-text-messaging, awful-music-liking, no-attention-span-having ways.