by John Tarpley
On the singer-songwriter menu at American Music Diner, sure, you can order the Sweet Baby James. It's a standard tuna salad sandwich: a meek, colorless thing that's simple to make and unequivocally lacking in anything close to texture. But it's reliable enough. Tastes just like your mom used to make. Heck, it tastes just like everyone's mom used to make. And everyone's mom made tuna salad. It's a constant, unchanging thing: In 2011 it'll rest shapelessly on your plate the same way it did 40 years ago. It'll get you through the afternoon, but not much more. And it's bland enough not to stir up any base desires. I can almost feel my eyes fogging over just thinking about it. Now, you can look down on this Sweet Baby James tuna salad sandwich because of all the things it's not — crunchy, flavorful, hot, meaty or particularly memorable in any way — but dang it, sometimes the only thing that'll hit the spot is a lumpy dump of fish, egg and mayo on white bread.