8:30 p.m., The Village. $22.50-$25.
Step one: Steal liberally. Song titles. Riffs. Lyrics. Why write a song when, as Hinder does on its new song "Put That Record On," you can just string together references to classic rock hits?
Step two: Get really, really stoned and fill in the gaps of what's left with your best prison-style poetry about your ex-girlfriend (e.g. "I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses / For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails").
Step three: Shape your voice into an unholy mix of the dude from Goo Goo Dolls and AC/DC's Brian Johnson and make sure every time before you sing, you get completely wasted. On Jagermeister, preferably.
Who's ready to be famous?