True Blood: Revelations | Rock Candy

True Blood: Revelations

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Shock of shocks, the "True Blood" scribes did not, as I predicted last time, stretch the Sookie reveal over three episodes. Nope, they spit it out immediately, starting with Sookie's reaction, which came in that charming manner that she and almost no one else usually greets ridiculous supernatural revelations: "I'm a fairy? How fucking lame."

Ah yes, but not as lame as some of the other Tolkein-esque names for fairies, according to Bill (I'm sure I'm spelling them all wrong): "phendrae, elanon, the old people." And—wait for it—"aliens."

That's right, at least according to Bill, who we've been reminded eighty jillion times "CAN'T BE TRUSTED", Sookie is part alien. A Fae-lien "coupled" with one of her ancestors. Or "raped," as Sookie says, cutting through fang-rapist Bill's euphemism.

More ick-iness between our supernatural lovers: According to Bill, every supernatural he's ever known believes vampires wiped out the Fae years ago. What are there supernatural conventions? Periodicals? Fae blood, it seems, is "intoxicating" to vampires. Which, naturally, leads Sookie to wonder if her delicious blood is all Bill care's about, which, true to character, inspires Bill to get earnest and shower Sookie with words like "light" and "hope" and "gratitude."

Less interesting revelations in order of interest.

1. Crystal is a werepanther. Judging it solely as a plot element, this would rank near the bottom. But I can't wait for everyone to start talking about werepanthers. Say it a bunch; it's fun: werepanther, werepanther, werepanther, werepanther.

2. Jesus and Lafayette have black magic backgrounds. And Jesus has an evil sorcerer for a grandfather.

3. Sam is a thief and murderer. His testosterone-y brother sparked a deep, dark side that he's sublimated since the early aughts? That's what we're supposed to believe? Eh. This flashback felt like the writers throwing Sam a lifeline after they made him ultra-violent for an episode and realized he couldn't hang. Not looking for all the inevitable Sam-in-drunken-despair scenes.

4. Jason killed Eggs. Enter the return of Tara's lip tremble. I know it was supposed to be true love and all, but doesn't anyone remember Maryanne's role in this? Context counts!

Finally, what a huge bummer that one of the show's two most consistent actors—and interesting characters—has to die. And probably soon. Alexander Skarsgard and (especially) Denis O'Hare have been fantastic this season.


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