True Blood: STFU | Rock Candy

True Blood: STFU

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Only on "True Blood." After two seasons of Bill and Sookie making googly eyes at each other, they are no more. Or at least it seems that way. The split, delivered by Bill in his new emotion-less voice (I'm convinced this is mostly to do with him saying "Suu-kee!" far less often), should have crushed us. But Sookie wasn't having it. After hearing Bill say that he no longer loved her, did not wish to be found and had just f-ed Lorena "like only two vampires can," all she could muster was, "shut the fuck-up?!" Which might be the realest words she ever spoke. More hilarity: Alcide, the bulging were helping Sookie in Jackson, offered these words of consolation: “No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can just turn around and kick you right in the nutsack,” to which Sookie responded, “I don’t have a nutsack! And Bill, he’s risked everything for me.” And then many tears.

Lots of other things happened. Mostly having to do with violence towards women. They were thrown across a room, bitten, kidnapped, tied-up (all of those last three were Tara, who mercifully did little this episode but quiver her lip), tortured medieval-ly, cut, branded and eaten by vampires. But now that Sookie is dressing in leather and peeved, surely the tide is soon to turn.

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