In advance of Friday's "Dwight David Honeycutt's Sweet Tea Party"
at Juanita's, friend of babies and bald eagle lover Dwight David Honeycutt
talked to me about the perks of being a web phenom, his theory on what unites all us "sons-of-bitches" and much, much more.
Get the complete lowdown on the party here
What happened in the campaign?
Over before it started, really. I had big plans, but I drink a little bit, and things got outta hand. Pretty early into the day we shot that thing, I knew I wasn’t gonna be running for anything. I knew about halfway into that day that the campaign was over. It was a lesson to me, honestly. Politics is about putting your best side forward but I got a lot of ugly sides, and I realized real quick that it’d be bullshit to hide ‘em. My son-of-a-bitch nephew, Roland, I knew what he was doin’. Like I said, I drink a little, and pretty soon he was askin’ questions about my sex life and puttin’ a didgeridoo in my hand, and I went with it. I mean, a guy like me? I smoke a pack and a half a day, I got type-2 diabetes and a little heart disease. I decided then and there that I’d tell the truth about everything. What do I have to lose? How much time do I have left? I mean, fuck it. Why not, right? I did the right thing.What'd you think about Roland posting the video?
I cussed him at first. He’s a shit of a kid, he really is. I mean, I love him, but hell. He lived in my guest room for two years, so I know, you know. He’s a manipulator. He’d drink and eat off me and never pay for a thing. We get along a lot better now that he’s got his own place. He knows what kinda kid he is - he’s your average kinda shit of a kid - so you at least gotta give him credit for that. As for the video, it turned out for the best. I’m not one of your God-squad kinda guys or anything, but things happen for a reason, I think. I don’t have a message. I don’t have a...a platform, but we’re all one kind of son-of-a-bitch or another and the only thing I think all this means is that you can’t hide the kind of son-of-a-bitch you really are. Not as a politician or a person or anything. John Edwards...likes that poon. Tiger Woods? Poon. Spitzer? Poon. Craig...Larry Craig? Likes to screw dudes. That God-squad fella from Colorado? (laughing) He’s the best, man. It’s such a cliche you can’t even believe it when you hear it. Preaching on Sunday after a night of meth and gay hookers on Saturday. The Catholic Church? That’s your damn cliche right there. I mean, covering up dashin’ your doodle with little boys? It’s like a joke and it’s all gonna come out. It all comes out. Folks say people didn’t know JFK was a poonhound because the media was different. Bullshit. People didn’t know he was a poonhound because he got his head blown off before he got caught. My point is, if anybody likes our dumbass video it’s only because we know some honesty when we see it. And a lotta people still like the lie, but a lotta people are seeing what’s out there with their politicians and all the coverin’ up and they’re sayin’, I’d rather just know, you know. I mean, you’re askin’ me to vote for you and all I’m askin’ from you is for you to level with me.
What's the fundraiser for?
For kicks, really. There’s no real campaign. We’re not really making money; we’re just having fun at this point. Those Juanita’s guys wanted to do something and the folks that have taken to the video, they want to know what I think about things...politics, whatever, so I guess I’ll tell ‘em. And there’ll be some local bands and that kinda thing. And sweet tea. Tell me about the show.
Oh, we have some great folks. Mostly young folks playing the music. Everybody’s playing for free. Lots of kinds of music. It will be low-key. I was hoping to get some weird shit too...fire-eaters and contortionists and shit, but you’d be surprised how few freaks there are in central Arkansas. I mean, we got no shortage of fuck-ups, but none of them have gone pro yet.
I’m not running for anything, but I’m gonna say some things. Mostly I just want people to listen to some music and drink a little bit and loosen up. Quit shoutin’ at each other. Maybe some young folks will get laid that night. That’d be good. What's the attention been like?
I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t love it. I had a girl approach me at the Chili’s bar in Conway and had me sign her tits. I mean, right across ‘em. Last year at this time I wasn’t signin’ any tits. 2010’s been a big year.