All of my friends dress like hookers and chances are, yours do too. Halloween. It is the one day, .27% of the year (thanks to Michael R. for correcting my mathmatical blunder,) where it is acceptable to dress inappropriately and without apology. Exploitation is encouraged. Fishnet pantyhose adorn the legs of most females. Too much makeup is always juuuust right, while less (if you know what I mean,) is most definitely more. Conservative is redefined with candy-apple red lip stick, low cut corsets, plaid miniskirts, and the courage of a cougar. Yes friends, October 31st is the one night we’re allowed to pin a tail on the back of our black lingerie while telling everyone, “I’m a cat. Me-ow.”
 
My best friend Wes recently asked me, “When do I have to worry about my daughter wanting to dress like a prostitute? Is there an age range?” Allowing no time for thought I offer, “12 to 60. It’s innate. Women like to be somebody else just for one night. It starts early. It lasts a while.” Wes shakes his head and says, “NO! I’ll give you 16 to 39. Then your whoring days are done.” Of course, for some women, there is an assortment of roadblocks to include weight and age. As women, we are our own worst critic. Wes said, “I seriously wish some women would ask men for assistance before buying a costume. No sweetheart, at your age/weight/etc., you do not need to expose this/that/the other.” Gee, I wonder why we’re insecure!? I’ve been nearly every size on a ruler. There is insecurity on both sides. His next comment, “There are some costumes you wear while knowing your intent. In ‘regular clothes,’ you’re a five. When you’re wearing your school girl costume? You’re a five men want to ” I cleaned up Wes’ vulgarity. I’ll agree, we invite some it, but if we’re comfortable (whatever age, weight, etc.) we certainly shouldn’t have to ask a man’s permission. If I’m a size four at 41 (or 51 or 61,) and I feel okay, that’ll be all the permission I require.

With Jonivan, my pre-Halloween date. 10/30

Advertisement

Help to Keep Great Journalism Alive in Arkansas

Join the fight for truth and become a subscriber of the Arkansas Times. We've been battling powerful forces for 50 years through our tough, determined, and feisty journalism. With over 63,000 Facebook followers, 58,000 Twitter followers, 35,000 Arkansas blog followers, and 70,000 daily email blasts, our readers value great journalism. But we need your help to do even more. By subscribing and supporting our efforts, you'll not only have access to all of our articles, but you'll also be helping us hire more writers to expand our coverage. Together, we can continue to hold the powerful accountable and bring important stories to light. Subscribe now or donate for as little as $1 and be a part of the Arkansas Times community.

Previous article Nothing left to do… Next article Puppet revival