by Max Brantley
CBS has been running an on-line poll for the "most dominant" college mascot. In the finals: the Arkansas Razorbacks and the Iowa State Cyclones.
As for the tournament finalists, congratulations to the Arkansas Razorbacks and Iowa State Cyclones for making it this far. Even though the cyclone is a terrible weather phenomenon that wreaks havoc wherever it goes, it's also relatively short-lived. Unless it's a storm of titanic proportions, the average cyclone only travels for a few miles before dissipating.
What does a razorback bring into the fight? According to Wikipedia, "Razorbacks in the wild are usually not as large as their domesticated counterparts, since they must forage for food, however they have been reported to grow as long as 8 to 9 feet and weigh almost half a ton. If a Razorback builds up enough momentum the strength in their hind quarters will allow them to jump high and far enough that it almost appears as though the Razorback is gliding across the air. ... They have acute sense of smell and hearing."
So basically, when a razorback hears and smells the cyclone roaring toward it from a distance, it can just run away until it dissipates. A seemingly cowardly tactic, yes, but you play to win, right?
Victory isn't without its rewards. On top of eternal trash-talking rights on Internet message boards of your choice, the winning school also will receive a commemorative plaque honoring their mascot as 2007's Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth. Good luck!