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Lock, load and pass the wafers

Posted by Max Brantley on Thu, Jan 24, 2013 at 11:02 AM

I see Senate won't vote until next week on the bill to allow guns in church. It's going to zoom through this legislature like corn through a goose with about the same resulting work product.

Again: If churches are in need of guns, why not nursery schools, department stores, the Arkansas Capitol, convenience stores, maternity wards and liquor stores? Everywhere, in short. Because if we are anticipating our worst threats in church, we're in a heap of trouble. Or organized religion is.

Comments (41)

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Max, you raise a good question...Will guns be allowed in Mosques and Synogogues?

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Posted by Artificial Inteligence on 01/24/2013 at 11:17 AM

Look at it from the other side. Why forbid concealed carry in chruches? What makes them special?

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Posted by Gylippus on 01/24/2013 at 11:18 AM

Guns in church=another reason to stay away.

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Posted by Verla Sweere on 01/24/2013 at 11:27 AM

Concealed carry in churches: Six bullets nearer my Lord to Thee

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Posted by Jabberwocky on 01/24/2013 at 11:42 AM

Listen, we just assume that all of our customers at the slightly illegal mobile adult beverage emporium are packing. This condition is dangerous -- not because of stray bullets -- but because so many of our loyal customers unfortunately have felony records. The very act of shooting game to feed their hungry families forces these citizens to become lawbreakers again.

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Posted by louie on 01/24/2013 at 11:45 AM

Did you have qualms ab NY rushing an gun ban through their legislature?

They went so fast they limited the police also. (not that they shouldnt follow the same laws)

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Posted by joeburris on 01/24/2013 at 11:49 AM

I hope this bill passes with no NO votes. Let them Baptist arm up every time they head to church to yack about God's love.

Back in my Baptist childhood old old stone deaf bright blue-haired Miss Luckenbill would start getting antsy when it was 5 minutes till noon and the preacher just kept droning on and on. She couldn't whisper to save her life, so about 2 minutes till noon she'd fairly shout to her old old sister WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? HE'S GONNA TALK ALL DAY! I'M GONNA STRANGLE THAT IDIOT IF MY ROAST BURNS. She'd just go on and on getting louder as she went. Us kids would nearly split a gut trying to control our giggles.

If this bill passes our modern Miss Luckenbills could shut that god yapping right up by plinking a few past the pastor's head when it edges close to noontime. Ain't nothing says SHUT THE HELL UP like a bullet whizzing by your head.

And old Mr. Spessard and Mr. Lairamore could have gunned it out every time the deacons held a private meeting about how bad the new preacher was doing and trust me they had those meetings a lot and they were nasty as hell even if they were sitting in a church building. Mr. S always took the line of throw the bum out, while Mr. L always defended said bum. Those old men had known each other since birth and I believe truly hated the ground the other one walked on way up in their late 70s at which time Mr. S flew to the ever loving sweet arms of Jesus.

Yes yes, Lord! Please allow AR15s 8 feet from every pulpit! I think it's in the Bible that it's OK to shoot a lying preacher (watch out Huck!) and there might even be a line in that old book about plugging all people who cause your roast to burn. Let us indeed praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

PS We'd have a damn finer country if we cast our bullets instead of our ballots. Shoot the living shit out of candidates you don't like and by 7 on election day swear in anyone left standing. This gun nut stuff is working on me....why not shoot anyone who pisses you off? More food for us survivors!

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Posted by DeathbyInches on 01/24/2013 at 11:57 AM

Our Lady of the Holy Suppressive Fire.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammo.

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Posted by evil monkey sez on 01/24/2013 at 12:01 PM

I'm with Gylippus. Why a special prohibition for churches? Just seems weird.

A church with an armed congregation might not be my vibe, but let the churches decide. Leave the government out of it (and church out of the gov.)

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Posted by David Ramsey on 01/24/2013 at 12:04 PM

It really seems weird that anyone would want to carry a gun to church, concealed or stuck in his belt to shoot his **** off at the altar call. As I have written before, I thought most Christians are alweays ready to die and go to heaven so why carry a gun and mess up God's plan that you get picked off at church.

Just what keeps these pseudo-christians so busy messing around with stuff that isn't a major Arkansas concern when they should be working on their budget and to get the Medicaid issue resolved. Just like every other year-too damn busy playing God on social issues to be doing the job they were elected to do. God didn't die and leave the AR legislature in charge.

If you want to be in charge of religion, find another job. You don't represent my religion and I won't have you forcing your Taliban brand of pseudo-christianity down my throat.

Governor, tell them again-no special session on Medicaid-do your job you are being paid to do and stop playing Pope! In fact, call them "pope" and that for most is not a compliment!

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Posted by couldn't be better on 01/24/2013 at 12:26 PM

I just hope Governor Beene (or is it Beebe) has the cojones to veto this dreadful idea. When I worship, I don't want to be wracked with fear that some bozo in the fourth pew back is packing heat. What does our fine NRA/Koch-owned legislature think about protecting the rest of us non-gun nuts from the constant fear that more and more people around us are armed to the teeth and more than happy to go all Nugent on us?

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Posted by BeeDub on 01/24/2013 at 12:45 PM

Blessing of the weapons, anyone?

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Posted by Vanessa on 01/24/2013 at 12:54 PM

When churches outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns in church.

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Posted by FullThrottle on 01/24/2013 at 1:06 PM

Okay folks….I need some education here.
With the exception of weddings and funerals, I’ll admit, it has been awhile since I have spent my Wednesdays and Sundays sitting in a church pew. A good portion of my life was devoted to sitting with my family and friends in the pews of the Methodist Church or the occasional visit to the Baptist Church with my grandparents where the preacher would frighten me into tears with his yelling and threats. This was my routine most of my life until my unanswered questions began to far outnumbered the logical and reasonable answers I would receive.
Even though it hasn’t been that long since I made the decision to no longer participate in organized religion, it is very obvious to me that MUCH has changed since I sat there, looking through the beautiful stained glass, listened to the nice music, hoped for a life lesson I could relate to, and longed for that inner peace and calm that sometimes (but not always) accompanied the combined experiences.
Can someone please tell me what is going on in church today that has forced lawmakers to devote so much time and so many resources to write laws allowing people to bring guns to church?????
I have searched my brain for every detail I can remember of my church going experiences and I can’t come up with any situation that would have been enhanced by someone pulling out a gun. What is church like now that requires guns in the sanctuary? And a LAW to make sure guns can legally be there? And who out there would decide not to go to church if he couldn’t bring his gun?
I understand that there have been isolated shootings in churches where the shooter had targeted a specific person and there was collateral damage, which usually occurs anytime guns are involved. But there are also shootings in cars, on sidewalks, in businesses……pretty much every place humans can be found. Why are we specially writing gun legislation for churches?

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Posted by mountaingirl on 01/24/2013 at 1:10 PM

Holy, Holy, Holy!!

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Posted by paulyd on 01/24/2013 at 1:11 PM

"I don't want to be wracked with fear that some bozo in the fourth pew back is packing heat."

Write 'No Firearms Allowed' on a piece of paper.

Tape it to the door.

Problem solved.

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Posted by Gylippus on 01/24/2013 at 1:11 PM

I know it's a typo, and sometimes Freud is just a cigar or whatever, but I'm loving "chruches."

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Posted by Norma Bates on 01/24/2013 at 1:14 PM

Oh lookee - the Catholics seem to be ahead of the game. Yeah, I know. Not a Catholic website, but apparently god really does sanction violence.

http://libertasperveritas.wordpress.com/pa…

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Posted by Vanessa on 01/24/2013 at 1:22 PM

If God exists, you don't need guns in church.

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Posted by Rutrow on 01/24/2013 at 1:25 PM

“Mosques and Synagogues”
And Clenches & Covens & Cells, oh my…

Because the Good Book says “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” it is possible that passage of Gun Worship Act will finally allow firearms in hospital & prison sanctuaries and the legislature.


“For where God built a church, there the Devil would also build a chapel.”
Martin Luther

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Posted by Zatharus on 01/24/2013 at 1:28 PM

“what is going on in church today”

Let us not forget that with Obama’s fascist socialist thugs protecting abortion clinics, church is one of the few places left that is safe to kill an unarmed physician.


“Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.”
Khalil Gibran

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Posted by Zatharus on 01/24/2013 at 1:38 PM

Unless our state's lone abortion doctor goes to your church you don't ever have to worry someone will kick open the door and spray the sheeple with armor-piercing bullets.

But I wonder...if this bill passes does a sheep still have to pay sales tax on any high powered weapons they buy to take to church on Sunday? If a gun show dealer can prove he only sells guns to Christians can he skip having to send a check to the DFA? Glocks For Jesus!

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Posted by DeathbyInches on 01/24/2013 at 1:57 PM

DBI, LMAO at your 1st post, Rick Bragg had nothing ....your writing skills are far superior! LOL !

Mountain girl, you aren't 't missing a darn thing...there is absolutely no reason to have guns in church! Of the the pressing needs our Legislators face and they spend time on this! Crazy!

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Posted by Nanc on 01/24/2013 at 2:12 PM

Significant, complex issues facing the state, and the idiot from Green Forest, Bryan King, files bills to require voter ID and allow guns in churches. Good God Almighty, Green Forest, is he the best you can do? Have you tested your water? Are your churches dangerous places? If I were in your shoes, I'd be profoundly embarrassed, much like I feel about being represented by Tim Griffin.

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Posted by PVNasby on 01/24/2013 at 2:18 PM

if you think about this objectively it's seems very strange that this is what our elected officials are spending time on. It's absurd. In general it just feels like the wheels are coming off a bit...

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Posted by arkylikeyou on 01/24/2013 at 2:23 PM
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